This Mystics struggle with ritual

In the QuakerInfo Fourm, a Friend wrote: "Early Quakers argued that such practices were at least temporary and at worst a deliberate insertion into scripture by the Catholic Church or simply traditional arising from custom and practice."

The topic of that thread turned to Quakers performing Baptisms... I was a bit aghast to hear this - certainly, this is not the part of me that finds affinity with Quakers... on the contrary, I have a hard time with ritual of any sort...

I want to share my response here:

Ah, yes - and this most certainly is what draws me to Quakerism ... I do not have this religious affinity for things "ritualistic" by any means... and I really quite agree with what you are saying here...

now, there comes a "but" ... let me leave that agreement for a moment, and look within...

the mystic in me, HAS to look at why something as such has moved in THIS heart, and make ABSOLUTELY sure that its intention is SPOTless... spotless to where there is no intention at all - to where I can be completely certain that it is Spirit guiding me, and not more layers of "me" - layers of ego, that wants to 'have its way'...

so, I look and look again at ALL of this - at all things ritualistic... and rather than refer to something of the past (the very "Temporary" that you mention, I see as identical to "temporal" - "of time" - "of the past" - this is where "ritual" lives, in worship of the past over what is Holy here and now...) let me then take in the very Spirit of Fox, and put it ALL to the test of intention... that is, is this movement in me "me" or is it Spirit?

Clearly, if I whip out a text of any sort, and start to disect it and point to some passage that agrees with my position, and allow for less weight in other passages to let me bypass them in my 'studies' of this text - then Im doing NOTHING different than any other section of humanity's religious requirements, and looking to make my own version of truth stand out in debate...

that does not seem to me, what has been actaully going on in Quakerism over these hundreds of years... but rather to LOOK, INTO the Silence, and not into the Books and Texts and rituals, to SEE what is there for me to see! This is to show me how I act in the world - to give this ego space in which it may see itself and that which is temporal in it... the discernment then is one of ego and God... the discernment then is between "What is" and "what I think it is" or "what I want it to be"...

THAT is the INWARD journey... that is something for me to discern, and NOT to put upon any other being on this planet... ANY other... its MY relationship to the Holy that I must see here... and not judge anothers relationship (which I do ALL THE TIME!) ... this is the message of the Spirit to me... to Look and Look again! until I am spotless of intention... and if I should die before such a day comes, then so it is, so be it! but I will NOT live this life inflicting my intention upon another... this is the mystics Peace Testimony... it goes WAY beyond war... it goes to the very heart of "How do I meet another?"... and it STAYS in that question, until there is no question... if I claim clarity too soon, then I have started another war in the hearts of men... I MUST stand clear of that intention, that can do such... that is the mystics Peace Testimony...

Now, I return my gaze to the ritual...

How do I meet this?

How do I meet this?

will I meet this by thumbing through a text? and making footnotes and references to habits and practices of a time ago?

or, will I have the Silence, the Space, the Spirit of what is Holy, to meet this with Love, no matter what my ego-tugs may be...?

and if so...

if so, isnt it Love itself that will see and determine if there is any possibility of Love that infuses the ritual? Love only knows itself... it does not Judge, and it does not see Judgment ... Love will act here, how it acts... Spirit will keep me in the Silence, the Sacred Silence, to see Love acting, and not clash against the egos of men, with my own ego...

this is the mystics Peace Testimony...

Please understand - this is not written to agree nor disagree - this is not trying to make anyone see anything my way - or to come to my understanding - in essence, this is not written TO anyone here... it is merely the inward looking that happens here... and that has found an affinity among Friends of the Silence...

I pray for Love to inhabit all agreements and disagreements that come to this looking... for the Looking itself, is not mine, but the agree/disagree most certainly is... there is nothing in Gods Kingdom, for this heart to disagree with... I pray to stay in that Looking...

Peace to all hearts...