there is another GREAT conversation going on over at BlissChick's (enCouragingBliss: Do Not Get Rid of Your Vice) about turning around what is falsely appearing as "not enough" in this moment, and seeing the very Truth of our nature behind that... below is one of the longish comments that Ive been making over there- but do go over and join in yourself!
yes, attachment is key to "vice"- and when I look inwardly to myself, there really is no confusing this...
for me, consuming alcoholic beverages is not a vice- I simply do not do it... there is no longer an attachment to it- there USED to be, but somewhere along the line, that just went away (from a complete seeing of the falseness of that action in MY life)... so when there was attachment there was "vice"- now there is no attachment... there is no struggle, there is no "should" or "should not" attached to it... I use wine in cooking, and there is a pleasant smell, and the enjoyment ends there, it doesnt go further as it once did... (therapy, and 12 step programs did not "do" this for me- it happened in just this way that Im describing, a DEEP looking at what is ones True nature)
now, procrastination DOES still have an attachment for me... there IS something that rises in me, when I feel Im being "lazy"- this is a problem now, it is a vice...
I see it is a vice, and Im clear about it- because there is an inevitable "should" that rises along with it... "I SHOULD have finished/ started/ not promised/ that task"... "I SHOULD not be so lazy"... "Ive overcome huge obstacles in the past, so I SHOULD not be having a problem with this!"...
the "turn around" is simple: "How do you know that is true?"... "what would it be if that SHOULD was simply not there in that sentence? would the world end? would people come to REAL harm, because you didnt meet their expectations?"
THEN, I really get to see the vice... its expectation itself! "Should" is past and future- and not ever true in this very moment! so I am "projecting" an image onto this moment (no matter how strongly felt, held, believed, or even reasoned logically!) that HAS NO VALIDITY to the truth of this moment... RIGHT NOW, there is not a SINGLE VALID should that can prove itself as true... whatever is TRUE for this moment, is RIGHT NOW, getting done without a SHOULD attached to it...
LOOK, and you will see!
really! there are NO shoulds in this moment- all shoulds are there in the future, and have no validity, no life, no air, no oxegen fuel, to this moment... ONLY in that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that is the ONLY place a should shows up as "real"- but to everything else as it is, there is no validity!
Ive seen this about alcohol, at the heart level- Ive not yet seen this about meeting others expectations at the heart level (the falseness of it I mean)... the "should" can still arise, and that most certainly feeds on itself, to where I "procrastinate" (whatever the hell that is) and end up letting others down... so, I look at it- I see the falseness of it (just like I did the alcohol) and I LET IT fall away on its own- LOVE and COMPASSION must come to this, not another "should" ("you "should" know this by now, after all, YOUR the one who is still doing it") - NO! love and compassion are not a possession that one can use to overcome a should with- love and compassion are the very seeing of the falseness of all of this, and then THEY come to act on this seeing... compassion acts of its own accord- as soon as I think "I must have more compassion so that..." - then Im back in the illusion again... seeing this IS love acting... and THAT is the real turn around!
there is someone on the web that does this sort of thing, I would certainly recommend seeing her speak on video or visiting her site...
Byron Katie, speaks a lot about the "turn around"- and the Inquiry being Love itself...
YouTube vids here
(sorry Christine, I get "carried away" on these responses sometimes- but this is the stuff I "live for"- and the conversation here is alive, I just arrive and this is what comes... bless you for your blog and your insights)
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