The mirror of saying Yes!

James reminded us today of this from our friend Meister Eckhart:

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.

This has been most relevant for me this past week- Ive been seeing it again- this thing that J. Krishnamurti would say over and over, "relationship is a mirror"...

and so Ive been seeing this more and more with each passing day- that even the tiniest event or the most horrid, is a mirror to who or what I am... the eyes that see and measure, are the eyes that are in THIS head- they are the filter through which THIS being perceives ...

so, when I sit in conversation with a friend, and a hypocrisy comes from what appears as his mouth- perhaps a comfortable 'middle class' hypocrisy, such as when one minute he will be speaking about how I need to do more to enhance his life or his finances (I stay in a room in his house) and then the VERY NEXT minute he is telling me that he is preparing to spend four grand on a drum set, that he already sold away once since Ive known him at an $1800 loss ... but the $30 that he gave me to get some food for myself must not become a "habit"...

yes, I see the mirror of that- Truly I do...

IF and only IF the request is coming from God... if its God asking me to do more, or to make do with less so that I can sit with my friend without judgment- then I can see that it is MY objection to God, that will contain this same hypocrisy...

this is a subtle and tricky thing to see, and only comes when I cease to measure, and simply ask God what it is that "I am" - "who is looking, God?" - "why am I measuring at all?" ...

but when it is shown that this measurement lives in ME, and NOT my friend, then yes, "thank you" is the only prayer...

thank you thank you thank you!

Internet Enthusiasm

Im taking the title of this post from the very root of the word enthusiasm, one of my favorite etymologies: en- in + theos- God... to be in God (or to find God within?)

you see, my idea of what makes a deep and inspiring theological treatise, comes from blog and forum posts... the "off the cuff" responses to some daily event or to another posters lookings is so much more filled with "Light" to me, than any well thought out defense or apology created in academic surrounds...

Is this a harsh statement?
perhaps it is - and as I type this very line of this post, I am resolved to reexamine it...

so let me just get to my intent in starting this thought - its to point you to this forum post, by punkrainbow (the keeper of the blog "Love Keeping The World Turning") which just epitomizes what Im speaking about ...its a must read

Actually, the entire thread is quite a testament to this terrific Friends Forum in which it arises - there is so much there to look at, admire, be inspired by and struggle with - these sorts of threads found in the odd internet forum are an amazing kind of literature in their own right... I think we need to find some way to appreciate them more profoundly than we do... some forum threads deserve to be set apart from the background in which they arise, and find a new publication for preservation of the heart and the insight that embodies them...

"Building Bridges"

I drive past this single lane bridge on the way to the Quaker Meeting that I attend - it goes over a river that runs alongside the road for a good part of that distance... it looks like the sort of bridge thats a private bridge, that is, it doesnt look like its town or state owned... but that someone had to contract privately to put it there- so he or she could get to their property, no doubt... I pondered for a moment, how unusual such an undertaking is for most folks ... not a lot of people have the phrase "my bridge" in their personal daily vocabulary... but these folks would... I mean, not a lot of folks have "my barn" or "my horse" or "my tractor" either ... but "my bridge" seems exceptionally unusual... this person actually went and "built a bridge"... not over a garden fountain, or a mowing path over the spring creek that runs through the back yard - but a real live drive-the-car-over-me bridge... thats pretty cool, really...

of course, I asked myself about "building bridges" in the metaphorical sense on the rest of the drive home... do I build bridges? is that what I do, from and with the spirituality that I find here *points to chest*?

not so much...
no - I dont - really...

Im much much more likely, to be the guy who will slosh across the river whether theres a bridge there or not- just so I can know intimately what it is that separates us... I will go through any cold, wet, deep tumult of a river, to find out the truth of you and me... this is what I do...

I tend to leave behind folks that way, on the side where I came from... they are more wishing I had found a way to bridge the course... and I tend to frighten the folks who Ive come to meet on the "other" side - the wet and muddy clothes they find me in are none too appealing for them to invite me up onto the porch, let alone to a table for warm tea...

but... I know something about the divide... Ill have to say that... a bridge may have been easier- but tends to take too long, and cost more than many folks can afford - either in their taxes, or out of pocket... I need to know sooner than that... I need to meet you sooner than that... excuse the dripping please, but my love of humanity would not let me wait...

gravity is good

Timothy Travis just posted a great bit of looking on his blog, and I just have to give it a big recommend here- please give it a read:

gravity...
"I don't usually spend a lot of time accounting for gravity in my decision making. I go through my life doing this or that without wondering whether gravity is going to work. When I wad up a piece of paper and throw it across the room toward the wastebasket I don't have a plan "B" in mind, a plan for what I will do just in case that ball of paper goes up rather than down.

My faith is not like that..."

For me, its something about how I use the word "surrender" ... I will write some more about this a bit later... for now, go give gravity... your attention...

Wisdom Traditions

wisdom traditions, a conversation... From my own posting there, we were speaking some about zen:

"I am not a practitioner of zen, or any other such sort of regimen or practice ... Ive come to understand something about "beginners mind" that is unmistakable, but from my own deep inquiry/looking ...so I should not speak for zen just as no one should speak for Quakers ...my testimony about beginners mind was more of a revealing from inquiry, and stands as the same sort of things as my testimony about the Inner Light - I have seen it, unmistakably, independent of any religion, belief or practice, before coming to Friends - in the holding of Silence itself ...again, I use the word "Inquiry" for this Silence - I mean by it, a question that is known to need no "answer"... another way Ive put it is: "my body is my Inquiry"...

so, beginners mind to me, is a condition of perpetual Learning, or Listening, or Holding of the Light - however we might find it useful to phrase... and it is seen that it needs no conclusion - it comes to no end- it is convicted about nothing... the Inquiry itself is seen to be the Sacred - the Holding of what is Holy, is the very question that a flower asks when it opens, or the leaves ask when they turn to their autumn colors, or the sun asks when it comes up in the morning, and sets at night... the sun is not convinced of anything, and seeks no answers... the sun, is in this beginners mind... Gods Good Creation... this is what I mean by Inquiry... and it is there when I Hold the Silence - when I go inward, to Inquire of the Light (or Hold the Light and Inquire of the Silence! same thing!) - when I meet another without any preconceived judgment or notion... and should I find a judgment in my heart when I meet you, you can know that I will be Holding that to the Light for inspection, for Inquiry, and nothing will be convicted about that judgment...

this is the condition you find me in, my Testimony... nothing perfect, nothing special, nothing religious even... just a deep commitment to the Peace of Inquiry... I can do nothing else... honestly"

Also, along the same topic, this page, Quaker.org, is freshly posted in the Delicious Bookmarks again, and it really is a kicking webpage... Ive seen it referred to time and time again since first coming across it...


the UK Friends there wrote:

"Quakers share a way of life rather than a set of beliefs. Quakers seek to experience God directly, within ourselves and in our relationships with others and the world around us. We meet together for silent worship in local meetings which are open to all.

The Quaker way has its roots in Christianity and finds inspiration in the Bible and the life and teachings of Jesus. Quakers also find meaning and value in the teachings of other faiths; we acknowledge that ours is not the only way.

Our focus is on our experience rather than written statements of belief. Our sense of community does not depend on professing identical beliefs, but from worshipping, sharing and working together."

Love that!
Just Love that...

The Hippie Kid, and me

Ive been meaning to find again where I saw this post titled "Am I (Still) Quaker?" from (somewhere in the) Quaker blogosphere - it was one of the first articles I'd read since starting on my internet conversation with Friends (over a month ago now)... and this morning it came across my screen in a fortuitous way... Ive been calling it "the Hippie Kid" article, and it may go down as one of my most important influences in 1: What Im doing here in this Blog in the first place- and 2: What happens next in my relationship to Quakers, online at least... so it was only right that I find it and link to it, perhaps with a quote from the part that really spoke to me about my own lifes journey... the Posting of this essay by Sola Caritas author Ryan Dowell Baum is one of the best examples of how to make a long and complex History lesson into an easily digested snack (for those of us with ADD, right?)... give it a read, and learn in short order what you may need to know about "what is a Quaker anyway?"

From the page:

"The denominational family known today as the Religious Society of Friends (or more commonly by their nickname, 'Quakers'), was founded in the north of England in 1652 by a 19-year-old precocious little hippie kid named George Fox. Convinced that no one he knew had the real Truth when it came to matters of religion, young George ran away from home and schlepped all over the English countryside talking to anyone he could find--pastors, professors, and laypeople-- looking for someone, anyone, who could 'speak to his condition.' Finding no one, he was driven almost to the point of despair, when suddenly he heard a voice say to him..."

Yeah, see?
This I really get ... and in a way- it doesnt matter what words might have come to ones head from such a journey, the Clear Seeing of what exists as Truth in any moment, is just completely beyond words anyway... and this is what I find perfect in my relationship to the Silence that Friends will invite when meeting for Worship... this is so very important, to what I understand ones relationship to the Holy is... coming upon Truth for oneself - no matter how alone one may find oneself in conveying that to others ...indeed, letting ones Life speak, rather than making words fit...

Its a Blessed thing... and I thank friends and Friends everywhere who have looked with me - to discover that it was in the very meeting itself, in the mere coming together, where the Holy always resides... for me, in the Inquiry, "How do I meet you?"

This Mystics struggle with ritual

In the QuakerInfo Fourm, a Friend wrote: "Early Quakers argued that such practices were at least temporary and at worst a deliberate insertion into scripture by the Catholic Church or simply traditional arising from custom and practice."

The topic of that thread turned to Quakers performing Baptisms... I was a bit aghast to hear this - certainly, this is not the part of me that finds affinity with Quakers... on the contrary, I have a hard time with ritual of any sort...

I want to share my response here:

Ah, yes - and this most certainly is what draws me to Quakerism ... I do not have this religious affinity for things "ritualistic" by any means... and I really quite agree with what you are saying here...

now, there comes a "but" ... let me leave that agreement for a moment, and look within...

the mystic in me, HAS to look at why something as such has moved in THIS heart, and make ABSOLUTELY sure that its intention is SPOTless... spotless to where there is no intention at all - to where I can be completely certain that it is Spirit guiding me, and not more layers of "me" - layers of ego, that wants to 'have its way'...

so, I look and look again at ALL of this - at all things ritualistic... and rather than refer to something of the past (the very "Temporary" that you mention, I see as identical to "temporal" - "of time" - "of the past" - this is where "ritual" lives, in worship of the past over what is Holy here and now...) let me then take in the very Spirit of Fox, and put it ALL to the test of intention... that is, is this movement in me "me" or is it Spirit?

Clearly, if I whip out a text of any sort, and start to disect it and point to some passage that agrees with my position, and allow for less weight in other passages to let me bypass them in my 'studies' of this text - then Im doing NOTHING different than any other section of humanity's religious requirements, and looking to make my own version of truth stand out in debate...

that does not seem to me, what has been actaully going on in Quakerism over these hundreds of years... but rather to LOOK, INTO the Silence, and not into the Books and Texts and rituals, to SEE what is there for me to see! This is to show me how I act in the world - to give this ego space in which it may see itself and that which is temporal in it... the discernment then is one of ego and God... the discernment then is between "What is" and "what I think it is" or "what I want it to be"...

THAT is the INWARD journey... that is something for me to discern, and NOT to put upon any other being on this planet... ANY other... its MY relationship to the Holy that I must see here... and not judge anothers relationship (which I do ALL THE TIME!) ... this is the message of the Spirit to me... to Look and Look again! until I am spotless of intention... and if I should die before such a day comes, then so it is, so be it! but I will NOT live this life inflicting my intention upon another... this is the mystics Peace Testimony... it goes WAY beyond war... it goes to the very heart of "How do I meet another?"... and it STAYS in that question, until there is no question... if I claim clarity too soon, then I have started another war in the hearts of men... I MUST stand clear of that intention, that can do such... that is the mystics Peace Testimony...

Now, I return my gaze to the ritual...

How do I meet this?

How do I meet this?

will I meet this by thumbing through a text? and making footnotes and references to habits and practices of a time ago?

or, will I have the Silence, the Space, the Spirit of what is Holy, to meet this with Love, no matter what my ego-tugs may be...?

and if so...

if so, isnt it Love itself that will see and determine if there is any possibility of Love that infuses the ritual? Love only knows itself... it does not Judge, and it does not see Judgment ... Love will act here, how it acts... Spirit will keep me in the Silence, the Sacred Silence, to see Love acting, and not clash against the egos of men, with my own ego...

this is the mystics Peace Testimony...

Please understand - this is not written to agree nor disagree - this is not trying to make anyone see anything my way - or to come to my understanding - in essence, this is not written TO anyone here... it is merely the inward looking that happens here... and that has found an affinity among Friends of the Silence...

I pray for Love to inhabit all agreements and disagreements that come to this looking... for the Looking itself, is not mine, but the agree/disagree most certainly is... there is nothing in Gods Kingdom, for this heart to disagree with... I pray to stay in that Looking...

Peace to all hearts...

A Schism of my Own

Aug 2011: the content of this post has been removed by the owner (Tom)

Working Post (or, a maverick Mystics guide to Quakerism)

Aug 2011: the content of this post has been removed by the owner (Tom)

A tiny thing about Convergence

Aug 2011: the content of this post has been removed by the owner (Tom)

So, the first one is a cheat!

Ive been wondering what Ill say for my first post in this blog o mine... and now I have some material ... as is typical of me, its in the form of commentary off of what someone else was thinking - but I still have this sneaky suspicion that thats ok... that God designed me this way, in order to allow my thoughts to integrate with the leadings and inspirations of others (whether they understand me or not - HA! ;P)

So be it - Let it be so ...

the piece I was reading was about just what was on my mind anyway... Here, by Ashley at A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy (I Love her blog quote btw... Ill have to steal it from her for a posting here... maybe later)

Im my own words, her post is about finding Sacredness on the internet ... and that is just what Im saying my own leading in being here is born of... so my comment to her post, is presented below:

Ashley said: "sometimes when I post, I have an experience similar to how I feel when I give vocal ministry―I feel strongly led. Even so, I have a hard time thinking of blogging as a ministry."

Can I look at this with you for just a bit?

Im a newcomer to the Quaker Blogosphere, in fact, you have my first post - even before my own blog ;) ... (I find I often work best off of others thoughts, than to create them from "out of the blue") - but the Quaker blogs that Ive been reading and lurking around for the past several weeks (Ill bet you Martin has already spotted me showing up several times a day at QQ) have certainly inspired me to open up one of my own, in order to participate in the exchange here, even though Im new to the Society of Friends as well...

that surely seems like ministry to me! the very root of the word "inspired" does not escape the meaning Im giving it here - "In the Spirit", if you like... yes - why shouldnt anything from any corner of the world, from any faith or vocation, if its inspired in this deeply felt way, why should it NOT be called ministry? ... Bring me closer to God, with what you feel and see as you walk about this planet... it need not be at a meeting - you will be a minister to me...

Yes
the blogs here that Ive been circling around have most certainly done that... the energy and the Love that is poured into the many posts that Ive read, that is most certainly "of God", of the Spirit... there can be no question in my mind of this...

You all here, from California and the UK and the Northwest and Indiana and Texas and Korea and Russia and my own New England... You all here, are drawing this seeker closer to God, and perhaps too, Quakerism than I would have thought possible... Friend, thats a Meeting! ... I think its ok, to call that a Ministry :)

the Meeting Ive been attending has its own great Beauty, make no mistake - but too, make no mistake about this - so have the posts that Ive been privileged to engage with in this circle of Friends...

Bless you all for your ministry...

I promise, my first blog-post will be coming soon...

Peace
t